It’s been a very long time since I’ve written here. And there are a million reasons as to why I’ve stayed away. Writing about running seems so inane when there are so many other things going on in the world that deserve more attention, more words, more light. But I just got back from a run because I needed to clear my head. Because I needed to feel my body and realize I’m alive.
You see, that is resistance. That is survival. That is what it means to fight back against forces that feel overwhelming.
I have alot of friends who have felt paralyzed, crippled by overwhelming despair and depression around the onslaught of policies that further marginalize peoples. Personally and professionally, I have also been dealing with a number of other issues that have made me want to throw up my hands in despair and yell, “Can I have no respite?! Must I be on defense in every aspect of my life?”
But on my run today, I realized something. I am alive. And I have choices (something others in many parts of the world don’t). And marginalized peoples have fought back and resisted and survived since the beginning of time. We will continue to do so.
When I was in 9th grade, I was walking through a subdivision with two Asian American friends. At some point, a group of white middle school boys on bikes chased us, yelling racial slurs and sexually explicit things at us. We ducked into an apartment building until they left, shaken and feeling utterly vulnerable. Why am I telling you this story? Not to get sympathy. But to raise the fact that things haven’t changed so much. The ugliness and harshness that are in our current society have been there, under the surface, waiting for their moment to emerge. Maybe that’s why so many friends of color weren’t surprised by all the events that have unfurled.
Those boys didn’t grow up and change into upright citizens. They just grew up and found a bigger playground to terrorize. While every day seems to bring a new horror, a new injustice to rage against, we have to remember that people will survive. They will resist and fight back. The will to live and to thrive is one that we can not sell short. So take heart, we may need to take the long view, but we will get through this. So rage, rage against that dying of the light. Just because the candler flickers doesn’t mean it’s gone out. Oh, and go for a run.
I find it serendipitous I just got this in the mail today as well.